I was torn at keeping a tour blog, would it be that interesting reading about, load in times, little niggles with the bass etc... and it posed the question what is the point of me blogging at all? when i was in Nizlopi i had to take my blogs down as they were too personal and in fact i named a few people i was annoyed at (never good) but alot more fun to read, 'than i woke in a travellodge now driving silly miles to play 45 mins repeat 50 odd times'. So here goes i thought i'd write about everything but the gigs.
Touring is a great laugh, it's hard work to but essentially (especially the scottish dates) allot of fun, me and jake havn't toured together before and i have somewhat of a checkered past when it comes to behavior on tour, or losing the plot, but things are different, i'm healthier both physically and mentally than i've been in many years but still my thoughts/worries were how'd we get on, would i wake and find him in his pants trying to throttle me with a guitar string or would he decide that perhaps i'm a bit boring with nothing to say. Well neither happened, one of the highlights of the tour has been how close me and jake have become, he's a man i have a massive respect for and good deal of love for to, he played awesome show, after awesome show, taking us from 5 drunks with bowel problems to 5 thousand people at the Hammersmith Apollo, a gem of a man.
We debated everything from my sense of humor/sarcasm to the jury system and the pluses and negatives of it.
You get alot of time to reflect on tour, like i say alot of your time is spent driving or hanging around, this never really changes (sorry to burst any bubbles) so the new 10.7 version of me spent some of this time thinking/reading up on things i'd like to improve on, relationships, which i'm rubbish at, bare foot running which i now do and i'm good at but alot of inner work, trying to meditate/walking meditation and trying to speak only when i know what i want to say, i tend to speak like i play Double Bass, lots of notes and then bit by bit i hone it in till i've nailed what i'm trying to say (a scatter gun approach).
Lying was brought up alot, mainly to do with a book by Sam Harris, which i've barely read, where the general point is that it's never right to lie, interesting idea i felt as i tend to over exaggerate what i do or big up my achievements, i often say i practiced longer than i have or run more miles than i have etc etc... so i would say i'm a lier but the mistake i made when i mentioned this to my partner and friends was that i presumed everyone lies but no it seems not, i'm def on my own there and so it caused all sorts of interesting conversations, where one person said i should perhaps seek therapy, my response was "oh not again".
Recently Boundaries have come up alot, i've never really had boundaries, something you get established when your a child, so mine are a bit all over the place, this is put into sharp focus, in relationships but also in my working relationships, i'm a tour manager and at times should lead the way, make decisions etc.. but it seems at times my lack of boundaries have caused more than a little confusion, trying to be everyone's friend rather than actually doing the best thing for the job in hand, so in good boy vain i'm reading a book on boundaries to, so with a bit of luck i shan't lie anymore and have wonderful boundaries.
In amongst all the wonderful Jake Morleyness, Nizlopi (my old band) were asked to play the Union Chapel for Child Line, set up by the lovely Tony Moor, all acts that are playing have played the legendary Kashmir Club. My feelings on this were so all over the place, Nizlopi was like living all my dreams, but as kipling realised that success and failure are both imposters, it took me a long time to get this, for me the good times in Nizlopi out weigh the bad but they were so extreme, we worked hard over many many years, touring up and down the country earning nothing, hemorrhaging money but making life long friends and the music we loved and believed we were here to make, we then had a number one in the uk and ireland and sold nearly a million singles and slowly disintegrated after many great gigs all over the world. Eventually splitting almost 3 years ago to the day. I was a very messed up person by the end of nizlopi, thought it my right to sell out venues, spend lots of money, i was a cliche, lead a totally immoral existence and hurt alot of people very close to me, this i'm not proud of but i've learnt massively from it, years of rebuilding has taken place since, jakes record was my first record back, "feet" was the first track that had moved me into action for at least a year. So yep some heavy shit had gone down and was very worried that this union chapel gig could put me back but you know after a bit of a wobble it's all been cool, the first rehearsal went really well, we could still play, i could kinda beat box but more importantly the work we and i had done on our friendship (which was in taters) had really paid off, we were playing as friends, so the music began to sing, i think it's going to be a great gig and i'm looking forward to our last show together as a marker in the sand in how far i've come, as the americans say "closure"
Well i feel thats brings us up to date, jakes last tour date on friday in my home town of warwick (at the arts centre) although it's actually coventry but don't tell anyone and i believe there's a party to try and enjoy on the sat but thats for another time.